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Tag Archives: being a woman

I don’t like baby doll. So when my parent gave me that hard-case-baby-pink-doll with mechanical blink eyes and exasperating cry, I immediately put it away from my bed.  It smell bad. I don’t like plastic odor. I felt so upset that they bought me that toy. I thought they knew that I only want a teddy bear doll with soft skin or a little car toy than a rigid, smell, mechanical doll which isn’t hug able like that. I left that doll untouched for days, until one day its mechanical blinks and cry intrigued me. 

Why it can blink and cry like that? I flipped the doll up and down and pulled its pacifier ins and outs, over and over to let it blink and cry continuously. I wonder, where did the crying sound come from? I pulled the battery compartment at its back and found a transparent mini disc inside. Then with great wonder, I examined it and saw a soft-white track inside the disc. Could it be a tape trapped inside the disc? Daddy had a lot of cassettes and music came out of it. But where is the head? I know what tape player’s head looked like but there was none like it in the compartment. Or is it possible that the sound stored in all area of the disc? In this transparent area?? How? Is that possible? Where did it hide the sound? 

But the little me can’t find any satisfying answer to that. So I kept the mini disc with me wherever I go and admired its magic. A transparent mini disc that hides sound inside it.

I’m a fan of Janko since I saw his epic duel wih Federer on Australia Open 2008. Have to admit, he’s cute! ;-)

This is the video link of him being interviewed during Australia Open.

Mamime sedang tidak enak badan.

Energinya menjadi sangat terbatas

yang mesti dia bagi antara menahan rasa sakit

dan menulis buku cerita.

Aku gak lagi tega memintanya “mendongeng” untukku.

Seketika semesta ini menjadi begitu sepi dan senyap.

Dan aku menggigil kesepian di pekatnya gelap.

This is a new day, a new morning for me as I decide to accept myself the way I am.

I brush every trace of unecessary past. I let go of those burdensome thoughts with hope.

Hope that this time my baggage would be lighter, my mind would be fresher and my vision would be clearer.

Wish that I could be a freerer man this time.

Lately I feel so lonely…so alone…

I feel like being in a crowd where people pass me by, and the rain from above falls heavily.
with hands in my jeans pocket…I watch that gloomy surrounding circling..
I thought I’ll be okay
but it’s been quite sometime ago since I had this kind of feeling..
and this repetition wake me up in tensed…
it seems like I’ve been running from something
but i can’t point my finger to what is it
guess it’s only my hormone
but realize my last period was about two weeks ago..
then what is it?

In such a gloomy day
i’m continue walking in a crowd …hoping to see a rainbow at the end of the horizon..
wishing to touch its surface
and find that it is as soft and sweet as cotton candy…
a cotton candy will surely make my day
I will eat the fluffy candy slowly
and raise my hand as high as I can to the rainbow candy above
it must be feel so good….
soon, kids around will gather and join my grandeur cotton candy party
all the sticky hands and colored grin will have the best time ever
as the lower part of the candy runs out,
a kid will anxiously climb over my shoulder and sit on it
he then helps me pick the higher point…
kids’ parent will join and do the same, picking up their children to their shoulder
everyone seems happy with a lot of laughs 
until the rainbow cotton candy runs out and disappear from the sky
and so the crowd dismissed

people will come back to their hustling walks to home or supermarket
and kids will hurry back home
me will continue my journey to everywhere…to anywhere
with a little smile in my face
looking above, “I know you will come again someday”
a rainbow cotton candy will never fail on me

I’ve been a fans of Russell Wong since his TV movie/series Vanishing Sons. I can’t remember what year that was but it is quite a long time. Last night when I scrambled through my TV channels I see him in action again after a long time at The Prophecy II by then I was feeling like re-falling in love again with his oriental-damn-cool-looks. And so I surfed the web re-collecting his photos. The result of my surfed can be found here. A wall-of-fame of his oriental-damn-cool-looks images.

I thankful the official Russell Wong web site: http://www.russellwong.com/ and the Vanishing Sons image gallery which have so many irresistible faces of Mr. Wong.

Here’s my wall-of-fame of Russell Wong:

My wall-of-fame of Russell Wong

The 1024 x 768 size can be downloaded here http://www.flickr.com/photos/fhd/130126567/

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